“I haven’t got time for this.”
How often do you hear yourself saying that?
I’ve been saying it a lot this week.
This morning my wife thought I was annoyed with her.
“I’m not annoyed at you. I’m just annoyed in general.”
I’ve developed what I think is another chalazion in my eye. Last time it meant hours at Moorfields and a load of antibiotic and steroid drops.
The thought of dealing with it again felt like one thing too many.
Anything minor, unforeseen, "unfair" or caused by someone else’s avoidable incompetence has been winding me up.
Why? Because I’m overwhelmed.
When you’re overwhelmed, you experience life from a position of scarcity:
I don’t have enough time for this. I don’t have the energy for this. I don’t have the patience for this.
And for driven people like us, the response is rarely to stop.
We push. We force. We move faster. Even as everything gets harder.
Some of my overwhelm is simply structural. I’m four weeks back after six weeks away. Since then there’s been a family funeral, an overnight business trip, two events to host, a retreat to plan, an app to close, a book to write, new coaching clients, getting back to training and a daughter with gastroenteritis.
But so what? We all have shit to deal with.
The more interesting part is what happens between my ears.
For three months, I’d had a big project sitting on the back-burner.
Yesterday I finally confronted it. And, of course, it’s bigger and more complicated than I’d hoped.
My immediate instinct? Retreat to my to-do list. Be “productive”. Create evidence that I’m working hard and therefore, somewhere deep down, reassure myself that I’m worthy.
That’s what I call my compulsive persona.
High stress. High output. Running on adrenaline. Wired-tired.
Useful sometimes.
Completely wrong for this job.
This project requires me to face the unknown. To learn. To think. To create. To problem-solve.
That requires a different version of me; calm, confident, playful and present.
The version that trusts himself enough not to force an immediate answer.
Here’s my question for you:
Where are you bringing the wrong version of yourself to something that matters?
A business problem? A relationship? A decision you’ve been avoiding?
Try this tomorrow morning:
Who do I choose to be today?
Where am I most likely to default into forcing, chasing or controlling?
When that happens, what could I choose instead?
What decision can I make today from a place of calm, confidence, playfulness and presence?
Sometimes you don’t need more time.
You need to stop behaving as though you’re running out of it.
Best,
Rory
