There's the founder people see. And then there's what's actually going on.
On my best days, I know exactly who I am, what I value and how I want to operate.
Those days have felt rarer lately.
Tuesday night into Wednesday, I had a Crohn's flare-up. Diarrhoea, fever, very little sleep. Meanwhile, my fiancée was up throughout the night with our seven-month-old daughter.
I took over at 5am, handed her back at 7am, and was at my desk by 8am.
Did I regret it? No. Did I resent it? Also no.
But it did make me ask a question I've been thinking about a lot recently:
Why do we do this?
As my friend Matt, who has built a multi-million-pound business, regularly says:
"There'll never be a number that’s enough."
Two clients said something similar to me this week. They used different words but were having the same realisation.
"I know that if I postpone happiness until the business reaches a certain size, I'll never get there."
On a call on Monday, someone asked me what my business goal was for 2026.
My answer surprised them.
"Surrender."
Not surrendering ambition. Not surrendering growth.
Surrendering the idea that peace, contentment or self-worth live somewhere beyond the next milestone.
In cognitive psychology, there's a distinction between "doing mode" and "being mode".
Doing mode is goal-oriented. It constantly measures the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
It's incredibly useful for building businesses.
It's also exhausting when your identity becomes tied to the outcome.
Because no matter what you achieve, there's always another gap to close.
Being mode is different. It focuses on experiencing reality as it is, without immediately trying to change it.
When I work with clients, we still analyse the gap between reality and goal. But we try to do it like scientists, not judges.
It's not a commentary on who you are. It's simply an assessment of where things are.
The irony is that I don't think we perform any worse from this place. In fact, I think we perform better.
Less angst. Less fear. Less shame. Less time wasted overreacting to setbacks or underreacting to opportunities.
The work still gets done. It just feels different.
Maybe the challenge isn't to become more successful.
Maybe it's to stop postponing happiness until success arrives. To stop waiting.
To focus on being the man you want to be now, rather than hoping achievement will turn you into him later.
Who is that version of you?
And what would happen if you started being him today?
